By: Cristina Trette Generally speaking, when my kids were young, they were well-behaved. Yet, they were kids! They had their moments of whining, fighting, and tantruming. In my attempt to be a great parent, I learned all I could on how to nip these behaviors in the bud. Back then, sugar-coated punishments and rewards were all the rage. I implemented sticker charts, point systems, planned ignoring, praise, removal of privileges, and time-outs.
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By: Cristina Trette Recently I was chatting with some friends about various aspects of life. These are brilliant and loving women who are doing incredible things with their lives. Yet as we talked, what emerged was a strikingly simple theme: something was missing. We talked about how we wanted thriving careers, joyful families, passionate love lives, and great health. Simply put, we want it all. Yet, not a single one of us felt we had it all.
By: Cristina Trette During the very early years of parenting, I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing. I chose to stay home with my children. Although it was not easy, I appreciated the time we had for bonding. For many years, parenting was my sole purpose in life. Despite all the sleepless nights, feedings, diapers, tantrums, and afternoon marathons, parenting provided fulfillment that carried deep meaning for me.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT What exactly does trust mean? Does it mean that you know your partner won’t cheat on you? Or that you believe your partner will always tell the truth. Well, yes, it encompasses these examples, but true trust entails far more than this. True trust means that you know that your partner will be there for you. If the level of trust in your relationship is lower than you would like, read on for some trust building tips.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT What does great parenting look like? Many would say that great parenting involves guidance, structure, and expectations along with love, affection, and warmth. If this concept is explored more deeply, many would also say that great parenting parents leads children to become confident, self-sufficient, kind, self-actualized, and well-adjusted. And depending on the values you may have many other attributes that you would add to this list. Although opinions on what parents want for their kids will differ, hopefully we can all agree that, the way we parent matters.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT Mindfulness is moment to moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is being present and noticing what is going on inside of you, and around you. This means noticing our thoughts and feelings as well as our inner and outer experiences through a lens of acceptance. Mindfulness is also a practice. There are mindfulness meditations, exercises, and experiences we can all bring into our life on a regular basis.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT I think it is safe to say that most parents have yelled at their kids before. Yelling can be a protective response, such as when a toddler runs into a busy street. In some situations yelling is reasonable and could prevent a child from harm. Yet there is another kind of yelling that happens far too often in too many homes that hurts the parent-child relationship. This kind of yelling is the... if you don’t stop crying I will give you something to cry about... kind of yelling.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT At the start of a relationship, most couples show up with their best self forward. During the infatuation phase, we rarely see flaws in our partner. We our on our best behavior and interact with respect and care. When we are with a new romantic partner, brain chemicals have us buzzing around in a minor state of bliss for the first several months to two years of being in a new relationship. Over time, a more realistic and sustainable way of being together emerges. This leads us to stage of more mature love that comes complete with bad days and bad moods.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT How many times have you heard the story about someone embarking on a total life change upon the heels of illness, injury, divorce, or death? The great inspirer, Brendon Burchard, talks publicly about how a tragic car accident served as a catalyst for him to start living a life that matters. The motivational speaker, Klyn Elsbury, goes big towards dreams every single day, while simultaneously fighting Cystic Fibrosis a chronic, progressive, and frequently fatal illness.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT Many couples report wanting a better sex life. But with children, careers, endless household duties, financial pressures, and all of the other energy drainers that come with modern family life, sexual desire can fade away. This is fairly common. 20% of couples who are married with kids have sex less than 10 times a year, which translates to around 20 million couples not having much sex. But common does not necessarily mean it is healthy or desirable. Alas, problems arise when one wants sex more or the other wants sex less. And if you become complacent, not much is likely to change.
By: Cristina Trette, MA, LMFT Couples that have been together for multiple years (or decades) find they need to work at keeping their love alive. Many couples end up more like roommates than lover or feel something is missing from their relationship. If you can relate to this, keep reading.
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AuthorHello. I am Cristina Trette. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I help others create thriving relationships, joyful families, and vibrant wellbeing. Archives
January 2022
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